An interesting article was shared on Facebook. I really relate. Changes in life & location have meant that many of the friends I enjoyed spending time with in the past simply aren’t available. They are too far away, or too busy with their own lives.
I’ve lived in this location for over 11 years now. I have ONE (1) family that I consider the type of friends you can ask to help you out on short notice. Even then, I wonder how they feel about me. I’ve been heavily involved in various scouting activities for years, and while I have lots of acquaintances, I don’t know that any of them are what I would call friends. I have social acquaintances in town. But I wouldn’t call any of them to pick me up when my car broke down. I’d probably just walk home, rather than bother anyone.
Of course, I also felt that way when I WAS in college. I didn’t have a good sense of when others really liked and cared about me, or if I was just one of the group that hung out. Once I walked 7 miles home after my pregnancy exercise class, because I didn’t have confidence that any of my friends with cars would take the time to come get me. Mostly, I believed that if I never asked them to go to an effort for me, I would never have to learn that I wasn’t the type of person that was worth the trouble.
My best friends are my mom & my daughter. While I am happy about the quality of my relationships with them – I am dismayed at how slender my support groups here are. If anything happened to my mom – who would I be able to open up to? If anything happened in regard to my health; who could I talk to without worrying about how my issues woutl affect them? That terrifies me.
I just have no clue how to develop closer social bonds in my geographic area. I wasn’t born here – and sometimes that makes me as much of an outsider as when I just moved in.
I do value my SCA friends highly, and would do as much as I possibly could if they asked, or even just seemed to need it. There is a select list whom I trust enough to answer the call to bring the lime. (Which I have in stock.) What I don’t know if any of them would ask me for help. Do others have the same questions in their heads? Would anyone bring the lime if I needed more than I have on hand?